My Diary: Waking As A Musical Instrument And Then Slowly Going Out Of Tune

Gerald's Rather Strange Diary

A more typical day with a kaleidoscope breakfast,‭ ‬which I consumed dressed as a semi-aquatic elf.‭ ‬June and I went out on a wooden tongue depressor‭ ‬-‭ ‬the man in the restaurant went ah.‭ ‬June carried on shopping‭; ‬several tyres from a Massey Ferguson tractor round her arms while I went home,‭ ‬heads recently dropped from a head tree in my recyclable carrier bag‭ ‬-‭ ‬my science teacher,‭ ‬who later went on to become the seventh skittle in a set of nine,‭ ‬told me that we were still breathing dinosaur breath‭ ‬-‭ ‬I had a baby stegosaurus on my head at the time.‭ ‬Once inside my jawbone of an ox studio I carried on with the task of drawing white marks on a large white canvas‭ ‬-‭ ‬the canvas was actually destined to be reused as a sail on the first Viking long boat to reach North America.

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